Logitech Harmony 890
The Harmony series from Logitech has garnered much praise. As a matter of fact, I think this is one item in your HT setup that you can count on your significant other liking. I don't say things like that lightly. This particular review covers the 890, which has your usual activity based functions plus light and appliances control.
From the article:
In addition to the 890’s IR ability it is also a RF remote for communicating with components without line of sight. If you have your receiver in a different room or behind doors the Harmony 890 will still fully operate the equipment via the Wireless A/V bridge receiver. The A/V bridge is programmed via USB and the Harmony Remote software just like the 890 is. You can choose which components need to be controlled by the RF bridge and which need to be controlled via the Harmony 890 itself.